Mewwy Kwissmass Errbody! ;)

Its 2:31 on Christmas morning 2012. Today, I will be surrounded with family, friends, food, and presents. There are at least 47 presents around my Christmas tree and fireplace right now. That's not including the ones that were buried too deep to see or the ones Santa's probably putting under there now. :) It feels like its going to be a good Christmas. Even though its about 70 degrees outside...I plan on dressing warmly and pelting someone with ice today. :) I can't wait for all the noise...that's a "believe it or not" statement seeing as how I've had a headache for the past fourteen hours. But, I'm excited for all the hustle and bustle and kids and old people and laughs and talks and mean jokes. :) I'll probably have to be pretty heavily drugged up for my head not to explode...but drugs are cool I guess. Anything's cool on Christmas. I'm happy... The anticipation is killing me! I'm ready to fall asleep all snug in my bed so those visions of sugar plums can start dancing in my head! ....what in the world is a sugar plum? Whatever, I'm snug in my bed, I better fall asleep soon and SOMETHING had better start dancing in my head... I can't keep lying in excitement like I'm four! I wasn't expecting to feel this way this year. I was expecting to be all calm and collected like a grown up...that's hilarious! Lol I'm still a kid, and I guess I'm really not ashamed of it! :) I can't wait for tomorrow...we always wake up to the smell of hot apple cider and cinnamon rolls. There's nothing like it in the entire world. :) It just brings in the "feel" of Christmas... It's like Christmas Spirit is created just from that smell! I like to think that the stable Jesus and his mommy stayed in smelled like cider and cinnamon rolls, rather than poop and donkey bum. Ahh....the spirit of Christmas. ;) I'm excited. (:

Today's Desire. A Note to Jesus.

I love you, Jesus. You're amazing. You really are. I love your Word...I love everything about it, really. Sometimes its a little harder to get into than others. But when I really focus in and allow my heart to read the words instead of my eyes...its worth it. Lord, I ask that you would make me fall deeper in love with your Word. There's so much knowledge, wisdom, and understanding to be discovered there....its beyond captivating. I can only imagine how consumed by it I would be if I were COMPLETELY in love with it. My mind belongs being entangled with something....it doesn't function properly if it doesn't have a mystery to be consumed by or some sort of love to learn about. If Your Word were to be the thing that I became entangled with...I can't imagine the places I would go and the unnecessary things I would leave behind. Give me a desire to know more of your word. Give me a grasp on what it means to be lost, away from myself, and into the things of you. I love you, Jesus. Thank you for these things. Amen. :)

Exhilaration and Ecstasy

Exhilaration and ecstasy...what are the points of these words? Well, what are the first things that come to mind when you hear them? When I think of exhilaration, I think of freefalling from an airplane just before I let out a parachute. Or I think of bungee jumping. That feeling of freedom of flight sounds absolutely exhilarating to me. And yes, also terrifying. But I'm okay with it. I picture ecstasy as the state of being when one is lost in happiness to the point where their thoughts are unclear due to the distaction created in the pleasure of that emotion. Reaching ecstasy is reaching that place of absolute happiness, the place where you start acting retarded and are completely oblivious to the fact. These are two emotions or states of being that many people strive to experience every day. We are willing to try any kind of drug or attempt any kind of stunt to feel exhilarated. Its amazing, the lengths some people go.
This blog may be chiché, but I know a way people can experience these two things without the use of drugs or alchohol....or skydiving or bungee jumping! There's a place you can go and a person you can talk to that has the ability to make you feel more exhilarated than anything in this world and can consume you with ecstasy to the point where even breathing doesn't matter. Don't be scared, you'll more than likely keep breathing... ;) But in the moment, you won't care one way or the other. There's a place in the Spirit that I cannot describe to you, that will make you achieve these things. If you've read my blog before, you may have seen one or two of my many attempts to describe the place/thing I'm talking about now...and by now it should be obvious that I know I cannot do it justice. However, I can tell you again that its worth it to lose your mind...when in His presence. Really, I think it's worth it to lose your mind at any time...but, especially in His presence. Hehe.  Getting alone with Him is worth it. Pushing in prayer until you reach the place where the world disappears, along with your human mind, is more exhilarating and ecstasy-filled than any type of anything that ever was or will be something on this earth. Its worth it. Achieving that perfect happiness and bliss is something that many people in the world believe they have experienced...I don't think they know the half. I can't wait to start hearing more stories of those around me that begin to lose themselves. I hope somebody reads this and tells me about their experiences...I want to hear other's stories! I want more of this for myself. It all comes with time spent with Him...I'm learning that more and more all the time. I'm happy. :)

Are You a Depressed Teenager? Good News! We All kinda Are! ;)

Why do you think it is that we feel so much? Why do you think we go through so many emotions and think about so much of the impossible? What's the point of thinking if the only things that consume our minds are things that cannot be and things we wish we had? Why think when it seems like all that's there is sadness? Ill tell you.
The beauty of thinking is that there's no limits. From your imaginary worlds, to your college plans...what you think about cannot be controlled by anyone or anything but you. Depending on how you choose to control your thinking, you can be somebody who's consumed with laughter, or you can be someone who's consumed by tears. In your head, you can go anywhere. You can go farther beyond this normal life and these normal things. In your mind, you can go places that are categorized as impossible. In my thoughts, I can fly above the clouds for hours where nothing is in existence except for me and the wind on my skin. I can enter a dark field of deep purple and blue lights and marvel at how they wink at me through the giant black elephant eared plants that surround them. I can get lost in my own world with the people that I love the most and do nothing but laugh and look at each other. In my thoughts, I can ride a literal roller coaster of emotion and get a high from the rapid exchange of sadness, joy, anger, peace, love, discontent, loneliness, exhilaration, amazement, fear, boldness, tears, laughs, explosions of the face, ect. Or I can go to a place where no emotion exists and I can be a robot, numb to every good or bad emotion. I can be free of fear, anger, love even, tears and laughs, everything. I can be nothing, and be perfect at it. In my mind I can enter into outer space and be myself completely. I can be the person I never could be with people surrounding me. I can be so far in love with God that my mind can't comprehend even what it means to have normal friendships and would only be unsatisfied with anything other than what is everything to me. In my head, I never settle. I can always make the right desicions and achieve the highest goals. I can live above drama and normalcy. In my mind, those things don't exist. I can go so far beyond myself that instead of oxygen, I breathe bliss. I can go to so many places that are beautiful. I can be so much that is beautiful in God. In my head, these words don't matter. Nothing does. Only freedom and peace...and happiness. The only thing that exists in my head is what's good. :) Well...that's the good stuff that's in there anyhow. Like I said, there's places that are terrible and ugly and should never be described but also have the capability of consuming me. I want to live in the good parts of my mind. Maybe if I think of nothing but that, I can become it. Guess we'll find out. ;) Think about good stuff, people!

The Complexity Of A Sigh.

"Sigh." There are so many things the word can mean. A sigh of relief, a sigh of anguish or frustration. A sigh is a form of expression that can be defined by the peace or opposite thereof being displayed on one's face. The fact that it can mean so many things and fit perfectly into so many situations awards it the adjective of what might be called complex. It really does exhert the emotion of its creator. Whether it's created softly and slowly as one lies down for rest, or if it's released from the body in a puff as one stomps his foot in frustration, it serves the purpose of relinquishing emotion in a bodily function that stands apart from crying or simply changing the form of one's facial expression. It serves an almost fulfilling experience as it's breathed into existence, but seems mostly pointless since, unless you're in the midst of performing CPR, it can help no physical situation. But still, we all do it. I do it. I sigh when I think...I feel as though it allows me to get closer to losing myself in the wonder that sometimes plagues my mind. It really doesn't. All it is is a short, accelerated or abbreviated form of breathing. It serves no purpose and yet serves so many. Writing about it is making me love it...weird. I love expressing myself through sighs...though they're probably not the best things to use in frustration or anger towards other people...then it is only aiding a bad attitude. That isn't fun for anyone... not even the breather of the sigh.

It is an interesting process, determining the definition behind someone's sigh. Sometimes it's obvious, and one can just assume if the breather is happy, peaceful, depressed, or angry. But many times, determining the truth about it requires the study of the breathers facial expressions. Even then it can be difficult to discern if the one expressing it is breathing a sigh of discontent, longing, satisfaction, or any one of the previously stated emotions. Regardless of what it expresses, I am thankful for the ability to sigh. It is pointless, unnecessary, and it serves my emotions so well. Where would I be without the complex thing? *sigh* :)

Chest Hake Kittie Sea!

Its three am and I have the hiccups. They hurt when you're laying down. :( You just can't plan these things out... I had a mostly decent day today...but now I have an inner explosion every six seconds that feels like a small knife is being plunged into my chest and sounds like a dying chicken or something. It's not that great. I'm thankful for my friends. Though there's a lot of weirdness at different times....I love all of them. Even the stupid ones that don't love me so much. ;) I love the feeling I get when I'm around my true friends. Its the weirdest thing, I feel like whenever they're around, everything's gonna be cool because I've got somebody good on my side. The difference between me hanging out with a group with them and without them is massively different. Its so weird, the atmosphere literally feels different! I have two friends like this. I thank God every day for them. Two true friends have I...and there's also a few best friends. I know I'm with my best friends when I can't not be happy and can't not smile. :) I always feel so much love from them, even when we're just hanging out and talking about stupid stuff! Its comfortable, they make me feel safe. I thank God for Godly friends. My life is made better by them. Just saying...

New Bloggity Bloggg (:

Jello, all. :) This short blog post is being written to inform you of a braaand new blog I've created. *gasp!* Don't jump to conclusions. I'm not done with Thoughts From the Heart of Me. I've just decided to create a new blog for my inner retard to have an opportunity to flow. :) Right now, the blog is titled Grr! She Bites! But, that's the third title its had since it's creation a few short days ago. I'm sure it will be changed soon and multiple times! Anyways, it's just a place for me to post my short stories, silly rants, and unimportant wonderings. It's all very stupid. But I'm keeping a record of it, so I may as well let others see a different side of my already obvious insanity. :) Here's the link... http://lizshortstories.blogspot.com/