I Know There's More Than This.

Blog! Here I am! It's been a couple of days, I know...I missed you! It feels good to be back. My fingers feel MUCH better now that they're in the midst of communicating with you. :) How have you been?! I've been fine...ya know, normal.
I find it so funny that I talk about being abnormal so much...and yet normalcy always finds its way into my life. Ever since I was eleven years old, I've heard everywhere that pentecostals are supposed to be crazy. It should be something we desire to stand out, to be different, and to flow with the power of God. And we do! We all do those things...it's great. We're all different from the world. But...something inside me tells me there's more.
There's something more than the insanely powerful moves of God we all have each week. I don't think "more" as in something different. I think more as in more to the lives we lead. We all know some "super Spiritual people". There are people that just seem to stand out with their walk with God. There's people we respect (for me, like my old youth pastor) who have a hold on this incredible power and love...that is deeper than I or you could ever imagine. Why is it that only some people have that overwhelming anointing put on their lives? Why don't all of us have a hold that pulls us deeper every day and never takes breaks? Why is it so difficult for some of us to enter into the supernatural realm and lose ourselves in the arms that we belong in, yet so easy for others? Why are there so many of us that know what it is to experience the Holy Ghost and speaking in tongues, but have never experienced Spiritual drunkenness? Why is it so easy for some to tap into the Spirit, but so difficult for so many others? There are so many questions that run into our minds when we see those people that everyone knows is special to God. So much adoration, and so many questions. Why do we desire what those powerful people have so much? I think it's because we were created for it. There's so much more to being apostolic than the standards, the doctrine, the music, and the normal, powerful moves in church service. I don't think I could ever fully understand it. But by seeing these people...I just know there's more to it. It doesn't seem possible because the Spiritual levels some of us have become familiar with are so spectacular! I can't even describe how incredible and amazing the places God has allowed me to go to in prayer...but, I know there's so much more. And I want it so bad!
We were created for deepness. I believe that statement with everything in me. We were created after the image and likeness of God...and that Guy's pretty deep. As humans, we were created with things inside us like passion and love that give us the capability of being in touch with so much realness and deepness. As apostolic pentecostals, we were installed with a deeper understanding of those things by the infilling of the Holy Ghost. I'm just convinced that we're not taking advantage of that understanding enough and using it to it's full potential. I know I'm not anyhow...that's for sure. I know there's more for me to explore in the Spirit. I've just got to get a hold of a greater desire for it and pray for direction in how to get there. I believe God gave us the ability to walk with the deepness of people like Lee Stoneking, and Joey Campatella, and even our pastors. I'm not saying He's called every one of us to be insane preachers. But He has given us the ability to be more than what we can imagine in Him. The only thing lacking is a great enough desire and determination. What does it take to go further than I've ever been? I'm pretty sure its desire and discipline. I'm not sure what yours or my next step should be in God. But, I know the only way I'm going to have a greater amount of either of those things is if God Himself pours it out on me. I'm going to have to ask Him every day to make me determined to do what it takes to go deeper. I don't want to get back to a deepness I was once at. I want to go further than that, and I never want to stop.
Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, help me! :)