Alone In the Dark.

I like sitting alone in big dark rooms. It's hard to write though...I'm always worried someone will come in and see my light in the corner and instantly label me as a freak who sits alone in the dark. I don't know why I'm worried about that...I shouldn't be ashamed of my weirdness I guess. Maybe its not so much shame as it is laziness...I wouldn't want to use the words and brain power it would take to explain why I sit alone in large dark rooms. Its so peaceful in situations like this...and almost mysterious. Its huge, dark, and cold....I see absolutely nothing and I feel nothing except the ground where I sit and the wall on which I lean against. Yet, I know there is so much more to the room I'm in. I know there's chairs, tables, a soda machine, a stage....and a large air conditioning duct (I can hear it). Though I know from the familiarty I posses from being here before the approximate size of the room...it feels so much bigger when I'm here and I can't see it. It feels like there's more to it than the chairs and tables...like there's more here. There's darkness here. Its interesting because it provides such a great opportunity for light. The darkness opens my mind and I see more than I do with my eyes open to flourescent bulbs. I see my own thoughts and I see things from my imagination. I see the world and different things in it. I see words, and I put them down on record. Why? No reason I think...just get them out and to allow a flow of more thoughts. The darkness is cold and feels pure. It feels that nothing can get to me...nobody or situation could ever find me. Most girls are afraid of the dark...I think I'm finding sanctuary in it. Its easier to talk to God here. In the dark where I'm alone and nobody can see or hear me...I can feel His presence clearly and communicate with him on a softer and more intense level. I'm not sure what that means, but those words seem to fit. I can hear better and experience emotion more calmly and deeply. Its relaxing, but not to the point of bringing drowsiness. Its pretty much perfect...here in this room. Its just me and God here. Nothing's pulling me away. Yeah for real, this is legit. ;)