I don't care. My hair is frizzy...its annoying, but I really don't want to care. Its hot in here...and it smells really bad. But, I don't think I care. I'm finding myself not wanting to be. I'm not wanting to be at home, but i'm not wanting to be around people either..and I really don't feel like being alone. I'm at a crossroads, dear sir. And i'm not sure in which direction to go. Wouldn't it be fantastic if we could all just disappear? Not permanently, but just for a few minutes....what if we had the ability to cease existing or to never have existed, just for a few moments. If we could not exist, but still be able to see how the world is without us...I wonder if wed be surprised. I wonder how different the lives of the people around me would be if I had never been born. Would people be better off? Or worse? Would they have less joy? Would they have more? Would there even be a real difference at all? I'm sure there would....but maybe there wouldn't be. What if this universe was never graced with my presence, but everything was still exactly the same as it is now....no better or worse. That would be embarrassing! Or it wouldn't, since my non existence would make it impossible to feel that. But I would be truly angry if I disappeared and could look at the world only to find that all my loved ones had received no change. I would hate to see no difference in the world, if I wasn't here. Even a negative mark its what my existence had left would be better than nothing! I can't bear the thought if my life not making a difference in this world. When I do leave this place...I want to be able to see that my existence was worth something. I want to see that I made a difference in the world. I want to have helped somebody. I want to have brought joy to somebodys life. I want to leave a good mark. I want to have shown the revelation of the gospel to someone. I want to pray people through to the holy ghost. I want to be used in a.great way by God. I don't necessarily need people to recognize me for anything great. But I want to leave a mark that is recognized for years to come. I want to do something good. My life it's not worthless...well, it doesn't have to be. Ima be thumbody thumbday. :) You should too...leave a positive mark on the world. Seriously, do whatever it takes. Help somebody. Make somebody laugh, then introduce them to Jesus. It will be rewarding. Your life will be enriched and your mark will be recognized. Blah...this could be written in better words. You get the picture. :)
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