What Stirs You?

   To bitterness, to fear, to hurt...I salute you. You have had your way with me time and time again. And alas, I no longer feel the need to fight you. I'll admit, since my conquering of you, things have been a slightly bit dull around here. But, not to fret! My growth steadily continues. Whilst it's true, I do sometimes miss the inspiration which you were so kind to hand out to me... my cup now overfloweth with joy!
      I have yet to find my next inspiration. Except I know it will again hail from deep, intense emotion. Thoughts of the past mustn't be what ignites my mind. Even learning new things from long ago can still cause pain, this is true. But, why must my mind think that inspiration comes only by you? It mustn't any longer.
     God, help me find my inspiration. I wish to be a philosopher in thought. But, I pray for that not to operate through suffering. Bring to me, my next outlet. Guide to me, the next step, or level if you choose. Show me all new of what's inside of me. Sweet Lord, break my heart with emotions that are true. I ask not for a broken heart in pain. But, please, break my heart to let the deep blood of my emotions flow into and through a passion, towards my gift from you. Let it be more than words on a sheet- more than words spoken aloud. Let the joy in the sound of my deepest heart ring out in a crazed frienzy, only to show more of your beauty. Give me words... Any words, I'll take. So long as they're real, so long as they're true... Let it be so, dear Lord, I feel that now the time is finally due.